Woah it's been a long time since I've written...
Unfortunately, since the last entry things have really not gotten better.
Chris lost his job three months ago. We've been struggling to pull things together. We've both been actively looking for jobs but to no avail. I've gone on two interviews the second one as recently as Thursday. So we'll see how that goes.
My family has been worried about me mentally because I've had some not so great thoughts about myself, my life etc so they think it'd be best to take me on a small three day vacation to the beach. I love the beach but I don't think that's going to solve any of my problems as of late.
When you have been unemployed since December of last year and haven't been successful at finding a job even with an accredited college degree what else is left? School's done, it's job time and noone wants you. It really works against your better psyche.
I wish life was simple again. I wish that I could just go to work be left alone, drama free, gather my paycheck, pay my bills and have fun on my days off. But the world isn't like that anymore. There's always got to be that one asshole that tries to make drama in your life, throw you off your A game, and stomp on you when you're down.
I've tried everything to get myself up and running again. I've tried working out to take my mind off of it but mirrors in the gym tell me I'm a fatass who doesn't need to be seen on a treadmill. I'm a sleep-a-phobe, I can't sleep (er well the way I should anyway, I've died my hair, painted my nails tried to look better in general but it's not working.
There's not much holding anymore. My funds are almost gone so that means my house is about to be gone, I've lost about 10-15lbs because I can't afford to eat. It's insane and I'm so irritated that I can't find a job anywhere in this damn city or state.
I'm educated, I'm a hardworker, loyal, organized and I want a job with decent pay and good benefits. Why is that so hard?
I want to live people and to do that I NEED A JOB!
I'm really worried about my mental state, my relationship with my significant other, my family, the fate of my animals and all else dealing with everyday life. I need help and there's no where to get it...
And that ladies and gents is how my life is going right now. I'm sorry I didn't have anything more pleasing to update with. Believe me I wish I did.
